There are various things we want to achieve. And there is manifold more reasons that stop us from making those wishes a reality. It could be responsibilities that spring unexpectedly upon us or obligations that eventually follow us.
We are forced to put them on hold, especially for women. Marriage is the initial stage that sets the podium of tasks that will multiply rapidly once children come into the spectrum. Some mothers carry out everything with much ease and less complaint. Most, though, fall into the spirals of the day and the night rituals. They start feeling that there is no moment for themselves anymore and the last time they had a ‘me-time’ cannot be summoned within the memory framework.
We must grant time for ourselves. There is no need for us to play the guilty card. We shouldn’t put a cork on our desires. We all have some forms of potentials deep within. If we don’t tap into these capabilities, they become wastelands. Sometimes we don’t pursue our desires because we feel it isn’t important anymore and we should be selfless. Other reasons are that of insecurity due to prolonged gaps. Gaps that cause efficiency to wear down. Even something as basic as holding a pen after a long time may weigh heavy in our hand or may take an effort to write more legibly.
We need to understand that whatever household chores that we carry are indeed in itself a form of Ibaadah. Most of us maybe aware of this blessing but the Niyyah of an Ibaadah is forgotten or ignored or questioned in the flurry of emotions that pop out.
Before carrying out any of your set obligations, pause for a minute then take a deep breath and tell yourself that the action you are going to perform is purely for the sake of Allaah and that you want to reap the good rewards and safeguard the Ajr.
They could range from as simple as brushing your teeth to being thankful for every meal you eat to your Salah and recitation of Qur’aan to speaking good words accompanied by teaching and inculcating them to the children and those around. There are countless more actions that we can tie our Ibaadah to. It’s all the Niyyah.
For any action to be acceptable, they need to fulfill two major conditions.
- They should be performed purely for the sake of Allaah. Our Ikhlas (sincereity) should be crystal clear and,
- They should be in accordance with the Sunnah of our Prophet sallaahu alayhi wasallam.
Some of us feel that we must concentrate on our fragile relation with Allaah and hence, all other worldly tasks are futile. When we don’t find enough time for a peaceful Salah or ample time for the Qur’aan, we become more stressed and angry. We may blame that the everyday routine of cooking, laundering, taking care of the kids and so on are hindering us. Then slowly thoughts penetrate our mind that it is not possible to do Ibaadah and it would be better to concentrate on work at hand. Eventually we become losers on terms of Duniyah and Aakirah.
The key to achieve what we want to do is to balance. Balance everything. Start slow and then pick up on the momentum. If we start with excess passion, we will burn out before even reaching an optimum line.
It is Now or Never as tomorrow isn’t promised.
May Allaah make us fulfill all the obligations with Ikhlaas and passion and direct every action purely for Him.